No Stone Too Tough, No Mind Too Weak: Gallbladder Disease

You may or may not have come across the topic of gallstones online, in conversations, or through personal experience. Before we share another personal story let us tell you a little about gallbladder disease. 

Background on Gallbladder diseases: Place your hand on the right side of your abdomen above your last few ribs. Your gallbladder, a small pear shaped organ in close proximity to the liver, lives just underneath where the palm of your hand is positioned. The gallbladder is responsible for storing and releasing stored bile salts every time you eat a meal with fats. This means everything from french fries, to eggs, to cheese, to lentils, will get the gallbladder working to different extents. Gallbladder disease encompasses a wide variety of conditions related to the gallbladder including biliary colic and acute cholecystitis. Often the villian in such conditions is a stone, also known as a gallstone, that blocks the passage of contents out of the gallbladder. In such situations, the blocked gallbladder is contracting but unable to empty itself, leading to inflammation and scarring. Symptoms of an acute cholecystitis often result in sudden and ongoing pain mainly on the right side of the abdomen, with more pain when palpated. Nausea, vomiting, and abdominal discomfort can also be accompanying symptoms, among many others. Many people, including yourself, may currently have a gallstone, but while many do not even noticed the presence of their stone, in a few individuals this stone can cause frequent and severe symptoms and pain.  

"Symptoms creeped up on me like an uninvited guest. Nausea, vomiting, intense abdominal and epigastric pain. In fall of 2020, I had my first gallbladder attack, not knowing what it was at that time. It started in the evening and lasted until early next morning. I laid there in bed, holding my body in a tight ball, crying, fearing that I was perhaps having a heart attack. It's a tendency to think the worst when you don't have answers, right? Since then, every second or third night the symptoms would return. I was frightened to think that something could be wrong with me. 

Several months and several doctor appointments later, I was still being prescribed medications for gastric reflux and anti-spasmodics. I am no advocate of doctor shopping, but I was fortunate to have two separate family physicians from different provinces (one from my permanent residence and the other a temporary one during school). It took almost 13 months for an ultrasound to be ordered to investigate my symptoms. It always shocks me how several failed medications and months later, gastric reflux continued to be the top cause of concern. It was as if no one was listening to my story and blaming my symptoms merely on my diet and hormones. I couldn't be more grateful to my current family doctor who offered me the space to speak about my symptoms and to offer my opinions on the diagnosis from what I had researched. I believe that as a patient we must do our research and be in charge of our health and offer this insight to a knowledgable physician who can direct our thoughts towards an appropriate diagnosis.

I had learnt about gallstones at that time. In the books, it looked like a "not too bad" disease. A small stone can't do much after all right? I was sure I did not have gallstones but something worse. I definitely had underestimated the condition based on the words. 

I had my first ultrasound in November 2021, a positive scan for acute cholecystitis. I was having another gallbladder attack but a milder one this time. "Go to emergency if it gets worse" they told me. You hear the word 'emergency' and suddenly there is a gush of adrenaline. "Is this really that bad, what is going to happen?". Going from thinking of a gallstone as 'nothing to worry about' to this, felt like one big punch. And indeed, a few days later I went to emergency, having a gallbladder attack. As I sat there on the triage bed I was tearing up. The nurse came to ask me about my pain. Seeing me teary she asked if the pain was really bad, and yes it was a 9/10, but the tears were of fear. I was extremely terrified where the day would lead me. 'Is today going to be the day for the surgery?'

Now, 9 months after my diagnosis, I have been offered surgery for gallbladder removal (the fear kicks in again and being alone in the city doesn't help decrease the nerves to take up that surgical option). Luckily my surgeon is phenomenal and has been very accepting of my wish to control my symptoms non-invasively until the need arises to do otherwise. I feel proud looking at how far I have come on this journey from daily nausea, vomiting, and intense pain all night, to more infrequent episodes. 

There are days when I would rapidly search for an answer so I could point to the one mistake I made that led to this condition. I was looking to blame myself, when in fact there may be nothing to blame at all. I thought disease meant you did something wrong, but disease is just another one of destiny's obstacles to test your strength.

My experience with gallbladder disease has taught me a few very important lessons. This would differ between people, but most importantly dietary adjustments has been a big part for me since my diagnosis. It took 3 months for me to test foods and suffer through gallbladder attacks in order to realize my trigger foods. I still love a good slice of cheesy pizza, but realizing when I can eat it and when it may be a trigger requires weeks of self-reflection. Physical and mental health have also been a priority for me. Believe it or not, a good 1 hour workout and a 30 minute meditation has gone a long way in decreasing my symptoms but also making me stronger. Cortisol, the stress hormone, can really add gas to the fire, so there could be nothing better than making meditation my best friend. Recently, I have had immense success with medicinal amounts of turmeric. I do caution that it could increase your symptoms, but for me it has really helped reduce the underlying abdominal discomfort that is caused by the inflammation. Above all, good family support has helped me get through all these months since the first symptoms.

The biggest thing to remember is to not give up. Change takes time, whether that is your nutritional habits or incorporating physical and mental health into your daily routine. Do your research because nothing is better than being in charge of your own health, and seeking advice from a medical professional can only make your efforts from fruitful. 

I continue to infrequently have gallbladder attacks, but with a stronger mind and dedicated reflections for future change I have passed each attack with ease. Not a person on the street could know that I had a gallbladder attack last night, because I have learnt to live with it like everyone else."

                                                                                        - Anonymous

Only I can knock myself down: Autoimmune Disease

Before sharing one individual's experience of living with Graves' disease we wanted to share a little bit about what it is. 

Background on Graves' Disease: The thyroid is an organ located in the neck just in front of the trachea. This butterfly looking organ is important for carrying out basically every bodily function. The brain releases a hormone called TSH which is essentially a key that will bind to the thyroid receptors and activate it to secrete the thyroid hormones.  In Graves' disease the body makes antibodies specifically against the thyroid receptor. When the antibody binds to the receptor, it activates it. WHOOOPSIES looks like more than one key can open this lock! This activation is quite dangerous as it increases thyroid hormones and leads to increase in heart rate, metabolism, break down of muscle, increases bowel movements, changes mood, creates a heat intolerance and skin and hair changes just to name a few things. 

"Hey there immune system, I think you forgot that the butterfly looking organ in the neck is apart of us, please stop making antibodies against it. 

In 2016, I noticed a change in my energy and felt clothes were getting looser. At first I welcomed the weight loss but within a few months I had lost fifty pounds and became extremely fatigued and had barely any muscle strength. Frequently vomiting, numerous runs to the washroom, and feeling excessively hot in the cold weather was a daily experience. Eventually I received my diagnosis and I definitely felt this was fake news. How could I be sick. 

These past few years have been like a never ending rollercoaster ride that you cant seem to get off of. There are brief moments were I feel great and "normal" but just around a corner is another uphill battle waiting. For example, two years ago when I started medical school I had a week where I felt great and was able to keep on top of my academics and family life. Sadly without a warning, I hit a horrible patch of low energy, low mood, anxiety, and feeling a burning sensation. During this time I was unable to study or be there for the people that matter to me the most. I felt like I was letting everyone down and that perhaps I am a burden on everyone and the health care system. I think I can narrow down my problem to the uncertainty this disease caused in my life. I felt as if I was no longer in control of my body. 

Being in the health care system and ill is a unique experience. I remember learning about Grave's disease and noticed how everyone around me would say "oh thats a very common disease" or "not a big deal, this is seen in many women". These phrases created an isolating barrier for me to reach out for help. 

So how did I finally learn to live with Graves' disease? Well first of all I needed a change in perspective. I needed to understand that I am not diseased, I am facing a change in my baseline health. To bring myself back to baseline I motivated myself to exercise to regain muscle and maintain my weight in a healthy manner. With exercising and finding opportunities to relax I found that I had more control over my body and was able to have more good days then not. 

        I stand in front of my uncertainties and illness related anxieties, ready to face and conquer them.

The battle is not yet over. Even though my lab values and lack of symptoms show I am in remission, I do have a creeping thought once in awhile that the illness will come back. But this time I will be prepared. 

My advice for anyone experiencing something similar, be true to yourself and figure out what things you can control and focus on that."

                                                                                                                  -Anonymous.

Mission Invincible: The Backstory

If you are wondering WHO? or WHY?, you've reached the right post! Read on for a glimpse of who we are and why this blog was started. 

So who are we? Well quite simply, two young women faced with unique challenges of living with medical conditions. We are Canadian medical students and aspiring physicians who have been through the storm ourselves. That's right, we wake up and overcome the heavy winds of our diagnoses everyday. Our aim is to be a channel for voices of the people who with great resiliency face their battles in silence.

Starting our medical journey, we realized that the diagnosis we live with looked very different from the other side of the clinic room. The medical side provides context of the disease but skims the illness experience of the potentially mortified patient. Above all the pure disease approach lacks the depth to understand the changes and uncertainty that faces the person as a consequence of the medical diagnosis. 

During clinical experiences, we found ourselves underestimating a patient's pain. For example if a patient rated their pain as  9/10, we would underestimated it to 4/10 since the patient "appears well and not distressed". Being on the receiving side was a wake up call and reminder that  9/10 equals 9/10, and 9/10 also equals moments of helplessness and fear, moments of guilt, times of uncertainty and denial. Overcoming the initial shell shock, we realized that it is not truly surprising that we underestimate lived experiences. If we have never walked a mile in the shoes of the person across us how can we comprehend what they are experiencing. 

We believe that amplifying the voices of the people with medical conditions can reduce the ostracizing emotions of receiving and living with a medical illness and can be a resource of strength and inspiration for those that continue to fight. Importantly, it can help ignite empathy through sharing lived experiences. 

Invincible We Are is a platform where we wish to weave together our love for writing, our medical knowledge, and the lived experiences to put forth a person-centered-approach to medical conditions. This is a place where stories of resilience with medical diagnoses will be shared in a safe and positive manner. We want this page to be for you, for us, for everyone; to deepen our understanding that we all are courageous. By understanding differences in human experience we can undoubtedly increase our empathy and acceptance of those around us. 

We hope you look forward to each new post, each new story, and each new perspective. Each post will be full of new learning from an educational standpoint and descriptive views into the experiences of those living with medical diagnoses. 

Please utilize the following link if you would like to share your story. The story will be posted anonymously. 

https://forms.gle/MfzE3jjqFRyKM6Pv7

                                                We look forward to creating a positive sharing space for all of us  - D&R.

More than Hulk, we are invincible

Invincible, a word that is heavier than it seems. 

Google defines it as being “too powerful to be defeated or overcome”. I wonder what it takes to be so powerful that everything seems little in comparison. 

Unshaken is my definition. Being invincible is like knowing the storm exists but to not get swayed in the wind. The power to do which comes from within. We all have this invincible power to stand against the worst of odds. 

I live with a medical diagnosis, but I LIVE. I live like the girl next door or the colleague at work. I live on, facing and conquering the storm that my diagnosis brings. Many of those around me have also been through the doctor’s spiel. “Unfortunately you have this, which means you will have to do this, and we can help you with this”. Have you been through this? Going through thousands of google searches to find a reason for the diagnosis or a way to easily deal with it every day. I too went through hours of googling anxiously.  But this is why we are invincible. We LIVE, we live on past the moment that shook the ground we stand on, but we still LIVE. We still continue to love ourselves, our lives and those in it. We live on and we love on. 

I thought being invincible meant never having to visit a doctor, to have the perfect health, to have no medical diagnoses. But invincible is the resilience in the face of a diagnosis, the ability to live a good quality life and prosper in a world where a medical history can prove to be stigmatizing.

We are invincible, our hurdles are hidden behind the curtains, our resilience largely unknown. We are invincible and we open our curtains to make it known that our medical diagnoses makes us stronger and healthier. We are invincible. 

                                                                                -DR