When we take a look around everything seems to work in networks, in groups, in pairs. The light bulb has a long circuit behind its brightness. The trees have many roots that help nourish and keep the trunk standing strong. Similarly in humans, nothing strengthens us more than the presence of supportive loved and cherished people. As a human with a search for social interaction, this network can be an asset and the pillar for strength at times of need.
Living with chronic illness is difficult, especially because there is rarely an end in sight. The diagnosis is usually something that must be lived with and "endured". Now in such a situation you can endure it with pain and torment or take the wheel and guide yourself to a path that you would like to see yourself on. Here we talk about some methods in developing a "circuit of strength" that have shown to be helpful.
Disclaimer: the advice provided here is not a replacement for professional help/ advice from physicians, nurses, counsellors or allied health care providers.
Engaged coping: Building your team!
Erin Skinner, a psychologist from the USA defines coping as a collection of purposeful, volitional efforts that are directed at the regulation of aspects of the self and the environment under stress" (1). In simple terms, coping is how an individual reacts to stress. There are both good and bad coping habits. We will focus on the good coping method of seeking help and taking lead of your health. Countless research articles and even personal experiences have shown time and again the importance of a support system in dealing with stressors. If anything research has shown that disengaging or passive coping (i.e. avoiding or denying the stressors) leads to poor outcomes (2).
This entails:
Reaching out to family or friends that you trust. For example, with a diagnosis of diabetes including family and friends may help with controlling diet and improving exercise to manage blood sugar levels. Why walk the path alone, when there is someone willing to walk it with you in a supportive way!!
Creating dialogue with your doctors to lay out expectations and hopes. This way realistic goals can be set and placement of a safety net accomplished. The latter will create a better watch on medications and changes to health. This is an example of where being proactive is better than reactive!
Vulnerability and determining the nature of stressors
Chronic illness presents a wide array of threats and emotional demand. So a key step is to determine what stressors are present and of them which are the most distressing (3). This can help specialists such as counsellors create a specific plan to address these stressors. Remember stressors can be from physical symptoms of diagnosis but also the emotional aspect of prognosis, how to fit in society with an illness and fear of recurrence. Here vulnerability is not synonymous with "weakness" but rather a state of openness to our illness/situation such that ability is formed to accept help!
Invest in yourself!
A significant part of managing most chronic illness involves lifestyle and behavior changes in diet, exercise, sleep and mindfulness (4). At times these modifications can feel taxing, but investing this time for your holistic wellbeing will help you gain the sense you are in control and reduce anxiety. The time spent on yourself will also improve physical well being. This large payout of improved quality of life is worth the time and energy!
These are just a few ways to help create a well tuned circuit of support and thus strength in facing chronic illness.
***Feel free to share methods that have worked for you in the comments!***
💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮
For all those families, friends, colleagues, and mentors who have stood by us with a supportive shoulder; We cannot thank you enough for your contributions that turned a negative thought process into a positive one. In reflecting on our experiences, we wanted to share a poem dedicated to all the people that play a supportive role:
Far too many times I have felt alone
But you have been there for me
Far too many times I stood below
But you pulled me up from within
Never too far, never too slow
A network is what you have been
A network of strength, courage, and joy
One that brings a new perspective in
Alone I am not, for this network I have
Nothing can take it away
The strength, courage, joy, and love
I hope to share with another one day
-DB
-InvincibleWeAre
References:
1. Skinner EA, Zimmer-Gembeck MJ. The development of coping. Annu Rev Psychol.
2007;58:119-44. doi: 10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085705. PMID: 16903804.
2. Compas BE, Jaser SS, Dunn MJ, Rodriguez EM. Coping with chronic illness in
childhood and adolescence. Annu Rev Clin Psychol. 2012;8:455-80. doi:
10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032511-143108. Epub 2011 Dec 20. PMID: 22224836;
PMCID: PMC3319320.
3. Tobin, D.L., Holroyd, K.A., Reynolds, R.V. et al. The hierarchical factor structure of the
coping strategies inventory. Cogn Ther Res 13, 343–361 (1989).
https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01173478
4. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/10-steps-for-coping-with-a-chronic
condition
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