Movember is an annual event that occurs during the month of November to raise awareness for men's health issues. Encompassing such as prostate cancer to mental health. Whether you are growing a moustache this November or not, it is equally important to recognize men's health concerns that are often unspoken of in regular conversation. Specially we want to focus on the current conversations around men's mental health.
Mental health is a complex topic and often one attached with significant stigma. Men's mental health has significantly struggled in the past due to stigma and societal expectations, but we are seeing it slowly come to the forefront in recent times. Awareness and action is a joint effort so, regardless of facial hair and gender, this Movember is a time to reflect on how we all can understand our own mental health and be of assistance to those around us.
We want to share a very special story to emphasize the importance of Movember and Men's mental health this month. Adrian Teare is a passionate advocate for men's mental health and offers his insight and support to everyone going through any ups or downs in life. We encourage you to reflect on the following concepts discussed by Adrian and recognize your support systems, because YOU are not alone!
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"I have participated in Movember in some form or another for the past several years. Originally, I just wanted an excuse to put my masculinity to the test by growing facial hair, which I quickly discovered was a fruitless venture. But over the years I began to delve more into the significance of this month of men’s health awareness, particularly as I began to find myself drawn to shining light on men’s mental health.
Mental health has seen a significant increase in attention over the past several years and has entered the public discourse in a meaningful and productive way. I have been so encouraged by this as a young man and am myself a proud benefactor of a variety of mental health services which have vastly improved my quality of life. However, this is not the case for everyone. While on my psychiatry rotation, I encountered two different gentlemen who were admitted due to suicidal ideation and attempts. I was astonished that this was their first encounter with mental health services. It had reached the point where they no longer felt they could continue to live before they finally accessed services. Furthermore, both of them expressed to me several times how embarrassed they were to find themselves in this position. They described seeking help for their mental health as making them feel weak. This broke my heart because this is such a common theme when it comes to men’s mental health. I have encountered countless other young men who refuse to access mental health services because they believe it is an admission of weakness. I know, because I was one of these young men for a long time.
So much of this comes back to how masculinity has been defined in our society. Men have historically had an unwritten expectation to put on an impenetrable armour each and every day and never show any signs of weakness or vulnerability. Be the stoic provider who never cries, never shows fear, and absolutely never asks for help. While this may have been a survival technique historically, we are now past the era of needing to rely on such tactics. Yet despite this, it is mentality that persists for so many men.
Anyone who grew up playing competitive sports, or spent time in a high school gym locker room, will have early core memories of toughness and machismo being the currency by which the world of men operated. To show a softer and more vulnerable side was deemed less desirable and so the best option was to put up a façade, which reflected what their surroundings had told them it looked like to “be a man”. As someone who grew up in this culture and never felt traditionally “masculine” I am acutely aware of how much shame can exist around being sensitive and emotional in the world of men. As a result, when I began to first experience my own challenges with mental health, my fellow men were the last people I considered turning to. This is a huge barrier to many men receiving the help they need. We just don’t talk to each other about this stuff as much as we should. I have had some beautiful experiences in recent years where I’ve shared my own struggles with mental health to a male friend and I’ve seen a look of relief flood across their face as they come to the realization that they are not alone. Sometimes the best support is to know that you’re not alone, that others have made it through this and are willing to help them do the same.
I always found it fascinating that even myself, a man who is quite in touch with his emotions and has become much more comfortable with vulnerability about my mental health, had an incredibly difficult time asking for help when I needed it. I resisted counselling for years because I was embarrassed to admit to a professional that I actually had problems that I couldn’t manage alone. I resisted starting medication for even longer, despite the fact that I was learning about the very real benefits of these medications in school and would have recommended them to a friend or family member in a heartbeat. In my mind, I still felt like taking medication was “giving up” or admitting “weakness” in some way. When I began to finally start taking medication, I noticed myself hiding it from people. That is how deep the stigma runs. I felt an inexplicable shame around my challenges with mental health, a shame that I would have continued to struggle with in silence and alone had I not been pushed to seek help by some incredible people in my life.
That is the true tragedy of men’s mental health, so many are struggling in silence and many don’t have the people that I had to push and support them. It has been well documented in countless studies that men are far more likely to complete suicide than women. The gentlemen I saw in the inpatient psych ward were the lucky few who were saved from an untimely death by emergency mental health services. It should never get to this point. Your first encounter with mental health support services should never be the emergency room or the psych ward. If we find ourselves reacting to crises like this so frequently, it is a sign that something is not right with mental health care and the support we are currently offering the men in our society. More importantly, something is not right with the way our society has built in gender norms and stereotypes which make so many men resistant to seek help.
Folks that have discussed this topic with me before know I could talk about this ad nauseum, because it has become such an area of passion for me. There are single conversations I have had over the course of my life that I can point to as life altering for myself, and if I can be that conversation for one of my fellow men struggling with their mental health then that is more than enough reason for me to keep talking about this every time I am presented with an opportunity. Words can save lives.
So this month, if you’re growing a moustache for Movember, let that moustache be a conversation starter. If someone asks you why you are growing, take that opportunity to share with them the importance of men’s mental health.
The more this conversation permeates into our society, the more we will move towards a place where the shame and embarrassment that plagues so many men when it comes to seeking help will fade away. On a personal note, if any of my male friends, peers, colleauges, etc have a chance to read this, please know that if you need to talk I am always more than happy to listen to what you have to say and share insights from my own personal experiences, for whatever those are worth. You are not alone!
Adrian Teare - Phone: 306-380-0697 Email:akt801@gmail.com"
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Take a moment at sometime this month to look back at your strengths, your accomplishments, your support systems, your emotions and times of feeling low. How did you deal with the ups and downs?Look around you, you are not alone. Please reach out to your supporters, counsellors, us at InvincibleWeAre or Adrian Teare, because we want to listen to you and be there for you in your low moments and your happy ones.
~ D&R
